Does Your Co-Parenting Need Some Help?

A Dose of Savvy…

I feel like the Fall friendzy is just around the corner! I just finished going through the calendar from now through the end of 2010 with my former husband, filling in the weekend and holiday and school schedules. Even though two will be away at college, they are still on the schedule… getting to school, Parents’ Weekends, getting to and from school for holidays. And then there are Back-to-School nights, sports schedules, SATs and college visits for my two high-schoolers.

I hear from single moms all the time about the frustrations and stresses of co-parenting. Many times the challenge isn’t just in making the schedules; it’s in sticking to the schedule, as well as the poor communication between the parents that makes things complicated.

Between custody, school, activity, and vacation schedules and day-to-day life, it can get tough to keep track of it all while trying to work and run a household. Things may be missed or even forgotten, schedules may be switched at the last minute, and in some cases one parent has been known to keep information from the other parent. Unfortunately, this only hurts the children!

If you need help with communicating information and family schedules, or even expenses, I recently came across a resource that can literally change your life! Our Family Wizard is an online information manager that allows you to easily schedule and track parenting schedules, share important family information and expenses, as well as create clear communication. Both parents, as well as the children, can have access to the system which includes the family calendar, message boards, private and shared journals, expense logs, and a family information bank (for vital information such as school information, emergency contacts, health care providers and health information). Money can also be transferred for expenses and is logged for future reference.

If you’re not divorced yet, you can even use the system as you create your family plan. Our Family Wizard has common plans already in place that you can choose. Courts in over 35 states have ordered that the parties use this system in contested cases.

Life as a single parent is not always easy so take advantage of any resources that can simplify things. The Our Family Wizard system protects kids by keeping them out of the middle and reduces divorce conflict between you and the other parent by eliminating miscommunication, reducing stress, and avoiding arguments. Ultimately, though, it allows you to focus on and improve your parenting!

Have You Made a Breakthrough in Your Life After Divorce?

A Dose of  Savvy…

How’s Your Financial Independence in Your Life After Divorce?

A Dose of Financial Savvy…

Many women find that their standard of living dramatically decreases after going through a divorce.  Though there are many factors that go into that (including family size, custody arrangements, alimony & child support, career, child care, & household expenses), your relationship with money may also be preventing you from having financial independence after your divorce. Regardless of their divorce settlement, many women fail to make their lives better. 

Money affects all the areas of our lives. We actually have a personal relationship with money and it starts at an early age. We receive messages about money from our parents, which often continue to influence us in our adult lives. Our unconscious beliefs and patterns about money can often cause stress, anxiety, and fear. How we view ourselves with money plays directly into how we choose to use our money. However, when we become aware of our money habits and behaviors (how we think, feel and react to money), we can make happier and healthier choices.

Regardless of your financial situation, you can change your relationship with money so that you can get the most out of what money you have now.

1. Rather than focusing on everything you don’t have, focus on the gifts you do have and be grateful!

Change your money mindset! Choose to be fully empowered personally and financially. What we focus on, we tend to attract. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Be grateful for what you do have in your life (both the people and the material things) and occasionally treat yourself to a gift.

2. Create a detailed budget

Write down everything. If you intend to buy a triple mocha latte ever day, or twice a day, put that in the budget. Nothing is too small, not even a pack of gum. You’re going to plan to buy it so it goes into the budget. Make sure you follow your budget. Make your plan and stick to it!

3. Earn More Money

If you need more money, earn more, do not borrow more. The single thing that gets most people in trouble is so simple, but many of us do it anyway. We spend more than we earn. We live above our means. Instead of finding a way to make more money, we find a way to get more credit, thus making matters worse. Be creative in looking for ways you can supplement your current income.

4. Save Money and Invest Money

In your budget you must have a set amount that goes to savings each month. You’ve heard it before, you know it is true…pay yourself first! Aside from general saving, you should invest some money long term each month too. Make sure you seek the advice and experience of a financial advisor. I know it is a recession right now, but there are still some excellent investments. Remember that the greatest generation on earth suffered a depression, and today they are better off than the rest of us.

By taking control over these factors, you can change your relationship with money to a point where you feel a freedom that you may never have felt before. By accepting that you cannot afford to buy that new pair of expensive shoes today, but you can afford to buy them in a few months after you save the money, you will create a situation where you have power over the money rather than the money having power over you. Don’t limit yourself from living the fulfilling and prosperous life you desire.

If you are really ready to take action with your finances and are really serious about eliminating your debt, check out Bruce Ammon’s Debtonator Course at http://bit.ly/9yWtrs.

 

 

Do You Know About the New Credit Card Laws?

Wednesday’s Dose of Financial Savvy…

It is inevitable that our finances are affected in a divorce. Unfortunately many women find themselves resorting to using credit cards in their life after divorce. Credit card companies have become known for their sneaky practices of raising rates and shortening grace periods without the customer knowing, and ultimately negatively affecting consumers’ credit scores.

Fortunately the government is addressing some of these credit card issues. Some new laws went into effect this week as part of the Credit CARD Act of 2009.  Some of the major changes include…        

*  Credit card companies cannot raise your rate on your current balance unless your promotional rate has ended or you are more than 60 days delinquent on your account.               

*  Credit card companies must notify customers 45 days in advance if their rate will be going up and then it only applies to the new charges.  Customers have the option of opting out by closing their account and then they continue to pay the old rate until it is paid off.  Unfortunately, though, there is not cap on the rates.                                                                                                           

*  Anyone under age 21 applying for a credit card  must have a co-signer 21 or older if they cannot prove they have the independent income required to be approved.

Though these new laws will better protect consumers, experts predict that there will be some repercussions such as higher annual fees; fewer promotional offers with low introductory interest rates; fewer perks such as gifts and miles; and tighter credit card approval standards.  The best strategy to protect yourself  is to take responsibility for your own financial savvy and use your credit cards wisely to develop healthy spending habits.

Here are a few simple tips to keep you out of credit card trouble and avoid “giving away your money” by paying unnecessary interest…

* Make it a habit not to use your credit card to make “necessity” purchases. This includes  food, gas and clothing. Buying simple everyday items on credit can easily develop into a bad habit of substituting  your credit card for cash. By always using  your cash or debit card, you will avoid paying any interest on your every day purchases.

* Do not apply for multiple credit cards. This will give you a false sense of financial security and ultimately get you in trouble when you cannot pay off the balances.

* Try to develop a habit of paying off your credit card(s) each month. If that’s not possible, be sure to pay off more than the minimum-only payment(s). When you make the minimum payment(s) each month, you are not only increasing the length of time it will take for you to pay off your debt, but also increasing the overall amount of interest you will pay.

* Make it a habit not to use your credit card to buy things you cannot afford. Living off borrowed money only gets you into debt and financial trouble.  Learn to make disciplined decisions when it comes to buying items you “need” versus  those you simply “want.”

* Always  let your creditor(s) know in advance if you are having financial challenges and will not  be able to pay your monthly payment(s) on time.
If you are honest about the situation and show good intent, most creditors will be willing to offer some type of temporary assistance or at least wave the late fees. It is crucial that you address this before the payments are late, though. 

* Do not exceed with your credit limit! You should aim to stay under 50% of your total credit limit. A  major part of your credit score reflects the quantity of the debt you actually have as compared to the amount you have available to you. Therefore,  it is important to keep your balance(s) low in order to preserve  good credit standing.

Making poor purchasing decisions and being irresponsible with your credit after divorce has long-term effects on you and your children. These habits will ultimately affect your ability to make those “big” purchases down the road such as a new car or a new home. Poor credit now affects future interest rates for mortgages and car loans, but also for everyday expenses such as car, homeowners, and health insurance!

 

 

 

Health Care Dilemma…To COBRA or Not?

Wednesday’s Dose of Financial Savvy…

A  Savvy Divorced Chick recently asked me  a question about health insurance once her divorce is finalized. I thought maybe some other women in our community might have the same concerns so I’d like to share what I have learned.

While it is definitely better to get your own health insurance while you are healthy and don’t have pre-existing conditions,  your husband or former husband’s company (if he is employed and has health benefits) is required by law to provide you with COBRA for up to 36 months. 

COBRA is the temporary continuation of health coverage under a group plan. You will typically have to pay the entire premium unless that is part of your financial settlement (though the premium will no longer be subsidized by his company), but at least it can tie you over until you can find employment with benefits.  Also, you will still receive dental coverage under COBRA if that is part of the company’s plan, but dental will most likely be an addition to any private insurance plan, not automatically included.

If COBRA is offered and you take it, make sure that you follow up with your husband’s corporate HR department once the divorce is finalized to make sure all the proper paperwork is executed. You only have 60 days to notify the plan administrator to have your existing coverage continue. My former husband didn’t realize he was supposed to notify his company and I almost lost the option of COBRA!
 
Personally, I took the COBRA option for a few months and then found less expensive individual insurance online at www.ehealthinsurance.com. This site will provide you with lots of comparable options in terms of coverage such as deductibles, copays, services, etc. The higher your deductible, the lower the monthly premium you will have to pay. If you are very healthy, this may be the more cost-effective route!

Also, if you have children, your husband will probably be responsible for covering them until after they graduate from college.  Your divorce agreement will outline who is responsible for the deductibles, co-pays and perscriptions beyond the premium payments.

If you decide to start your own business rather than work for someone else, you will have to cover your own insurance  either with COBRA or private insurance. This may also be a deductible business expense you can take advantage of , but be sure to check with your accountant to make sure. You may also be able to take advantage of a group rate if you become a member of your local or state Chamber of Commerce or become a member of an association affiliated with your industry.

If your divorce is not final yet, I would make sure you discuss all these details with your attorney and include as much detail as possible  in your agreement regarding you and your childrens’ health insurance. If your divorce is final and you have private insurance, I would suggest evaluating your individual policy annually to make sure it is covering your needs.

Five Savvy Steps To A New Life After Divorce - Step 3

Wednesday’s Dose of Financial Savvy…
 
Finances can be a source of stress any time, but especially in life after divorce. “Redefine Your Financial Savvy” by managing your credit, establishing a budget, and dealing with debt, and you will feel more safe, secure, and confident!
 
I have found that there are “Five Savvy Steps To A Better Life After Divorce.”  I am sharing these Savvy Steps with the Savvy Divorced Chicks community this week. I hope you enjoy the video of Step 3…

Don’t miss our Monthly Savvy Divorced Chicks Cafe call…
TONITE: Wednesday, February 10th at 9:00pm ET  “Taking Control with The Dinner Diva!”
http://www.SavvyDivorcedChicksCafe.com   
 
If you’re ready to take control of your “Outer Savvy” and provide your family with easy, nutritious, cost-effective meals, be sure to join me for a special interview with Leanne Ely, aka The Dinner Diva. Leanne is a Certified Nutritional Consultant and New York Times best selling author…the author of the Saving Dinner series and co-author of Body Clutter. She has helped thousands of families by bringing them back to the dinner table one meal at a time. You will not want to miss this special evening in the Cafe with “the expert on family cooking” according to Woman’s Day Magazine!  

Join us as we discuss…
  * The Importance of Bringing Dinner Back to the Table 
  * Getting Rid of Your Body Clutter
  * How to Solve the “What’s For Dinner?” Dilemma in Your Home
  * How to Easily and Affordably Create Healthy Meals for Your Family When You’re Trying to Do It All

If you are already a Cafe member, you don’t have to do anything! You have already received your call-in and webcast information by email.

If you’re not yet a member, we’d love to have you! Check out the details here for complimentary 30-Day access to the Savvy Divorced Chicks Cafe… http://www.SavvyDivorcedChicksCafe.com
 
I am committed and passionate to empowering divorced women. I hope you will take me up on my invitation to be a member of The Savvy Divorced Chicks Cafe without risking a dime to get started. I am offering you 30 days to discover the power of this community.
 
Click here for all the details & to get started…
http://www.SavvyDivorcedChicksCafe.com
 
There is nothing more powerful than a group of women with a common purpose! I look forward to meeting you in the Cafe!

Do You Know What a FAFSA Is?

A Dose of Financial Savvy…

The text said, “FAFSA is due Feb. 15.”

My oldest son sent me this from college…is this a text you may have also received? If not, maybe you should have!

My two college-aged sons recently received an email from their dad requesting that they check into any possible scholarships or grants available at their universities for 2010-11. We have had to be very transparent and honest with the kids, especially since their dad’s company closed in February 2009 and their college accounts lost significant value in the midst of the recession. As I had forewarned them, they found out that they need their FAFSA information to determine what options for aid they may have!

SINGLE MOMS: It is very important if you have kids in college that you fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). Financial aid includes student and parent loans, as well as need-based aid and scholarships. To apply for student financial aid from the federal government, including the Pell Grant, Perkins Loan, Stafford Loan and work-study, you will need to submit a FAFSA. You should apply for aid every year, even if you think you don’t qualify, because there are many factors that affect eligibility for financial aid. Students who don’t qualify one year might become eligible the next year when their siblings enroll in college or there is a change in family financial circumstances, such as a job layoff.

I went through this process for the first time last year and had to fill out forms for both boys. If you have a child that is a Senior in high school, you don’t have to wait until they make their final decision…in fact, don’t wait because most schools require the FAFSA way before the deposits are due to colleges and universities on May 1st.

What I didn’t realize was that, as a single mom, the only financial information required was mine and my childrens (their employment, bank accounts, college accounts, etc). Since I am the custodial parent, neither their father’s assets nor income was part of the process. Definitely plan to spend several hours figuring out the forms…you are basically doing preliminary taxes!

Don’t be surprised or discouraged when you receive your “financial aid package” from your child’s college. It will most likely be a list of all the loans your are allowed to take out to fund their education. In the meantime, I suggest you and your kids do some research online and find scholarships and grants (which won’t require repaying with interest!) to supplement college accounts and loans.

I’m going to be filling out our FAFSAs this week…will you? Please share your experiences with the FAFSA and improving your “Financial Savvy”! I look forward to hearing from you.

So…Who Is The Savvy Divorced Chick?

No matter where you may be in your life after divorce, you can be a “Savvy Divorced Chick!” You just have to start by making the decision that you want to be better, not bitter! Being savvy in your life after divorce is all about your mindset…your lifestyle… your journey.

Savvy Divorced Chicks are smart, motivated, real women who recognize that divorce has given them the opportunity to redesign a life on their terms that is empowering and fulfilling. Though her future may seem uncertain at times, she has a positive outlook and is willing to look outside of the box…even when it terrifies her! The Savvy Divorced Chick is inspired by other women’s stories, and is also an inspiration herself. She is social and enjoys being part of a positive, supportive community.

A Savvy Divorced Chick values personal development, and realizes it is the first step to making positive, lasting changes in all areas of her life. She is committed to creating a fun, adventurous, passionate life that is physically & emotionally healthy, financially secure, and professionally fulfilling. She is also committed to transforming & developing healthy, vibrant relationships in all areas of her life.

Life after divorce is truly a journey…and there are definitely challenges along the way. The Savvy Divorced Chick learns along the way how to grow from the pain, though, and realizes that only she has the power to actually create the family, the career, the relationships…the LIFE she wants!

 

 

Overcoming Procrastination in Your Life After Divorce

As divorced women, we’re juggling it all…family, household, finances, a profession, volunteering, even a social life. Life can get overwhelming, but at one time or another, we’ve all been hit by the procrastination bug…and intentionally put off things we really needed to do.

Procrastination can manifest itself in many forms, even as simple disguises such as TV and email. It can also show up for many reasons. Our internal barriers such as fear, anxiety, perfectionism, and indecision may surface and take over. In the end, though, procrastination never pays; in fact, it usually comes with a cost… affecting our achievements, bank accounts, reputation, self-esteem, even our credit score. Ultimately procrastination leads to stress and interferes with our happiness.

Procrastination doesn’t have to be a way of life, though. When it starts to affect your productivity, your relationships and even starts to cost you, it’s time to put a stop to it immediately! Overcoming procrastination means committing to moving forward and taking action even when you don’t feel like it. Though it will be a gradual effort and take practice, there are some simple steps we can all take to turn procrastination into productivity and perseverance…

Discover How & Why

The first place to start with resolving your procrastination issues is to get a clear picture of how you use your time and why you delay certain types of projects. Buy yourself a beautiful journal to encourage your positive, can-do attitude and keep a daily log of all your activities, including how long you spend on each. You will soon discover all the distractions and time-wasters that keep you from achieving your goals. In addition, list any activities you deliberately avoid accomplishing and journal about why. The sooner you become aware of your actions and the reasons behind them, the sooner you will be taking charge of your life.

Monetize Your Habit

We’ve all heard that time is money, but how much is your procrastination actually costing you? This can be an actual dollar amount or the cost of a lost opportunity. When you list those activities that you purposely put off in your journal, be sure to include what it costs you. Late bills cost you interest, affect your credit score and ultimately your ability to secure less expensive credit in the future. Insurance companies, mortgage companies, even future employers use your credit score to make their decisions. Prolonging projects at work, updating your resume, dealing with medical issues, car & home maintenance (just to name a few) will all “cost” you more in the long run.

Get Organized & Prioritize Your Goals

When you have systems in place at home and at work, it’s easier to keep yourself on track. Keep your list of projects or goals in one place, not scribbled on different sheets of paper. Create a daily planning system, either electronically or manually, and keep a detailed schedule of all your appointments. Then block off additional time daily to tackle the personal and professional projects you need and want to accomplish. Be sure to set realistic goals by priority, and give yourself a certain time limit to accomplish each. Share your goals with a friend or a coach and you will keep yourself accountable.

Just Get Started

Avoiding procrastination is more effective when we start with little steps. Break down each task or goal into smaller goals that can be systematically accomplished one at a time. Setting small, quickly achievable goals helps you avoid being overwhelmed, lets you quickly see success, and keeps you motivated until you have completed the whole project. It is amazing where many small steps taken together can lead!

Focus

Procrastination means losing precious time, wasting valuable resources, and missing life’s golden opportunities. All of this can be avoided by focusing on what your goals are and actually doing what it will take to accomplish them. It will require consistent  decisions and a continued commitment to avoid distractions and be in control of your own time. Before you get started on a project, make sure you have everything you need to avoid unnecessary interruptions.

Reward Yourself

This is the best part of being productive! Make sure you reward yourself once you have accomplished one of your projects…you deserve it!! Maybe even take part of the money you saved by not procrastinating and give yourself something special. Most importantly, though, be sure to spend some time each day doing the things you love to do so you can keep your momentum going, accomplish all you dream of, and live the life you truly deserve.

Living a life without procrastination doesn’t require a radical change; it just requires a decision. By overcoming procrastination you will experience a personal freedom and self-satisfaction you have probably not felt for a long time. Just imagine a life filled with strength, purpose and peace of mind…it is just a few actions away!

Imagine Your Life After Divorce If You Just Took Action

In life after divorce, there are many decisions to make and things we would like to change to have the life of our dreams. Taking action, though, can often be intimidating and overwhelming, but it can also be empowering!  Taking action can provide the fuel you need to keep moving forward toward a more fulfilling life.  Regardless of the time of year, there is no time more perfect than now to design the life you want…and deserve.

As you redesign your life, it is critical that you first understand that your life is exactly as you have designed it. Your life is the way it is right now because of your hesitation in taking action to change it!

In thinking about your life, which situations do you want to change first? Does your career, health, relationships, financial situation, or anything else make you feel powerless and stuck? Choose one simple action you can take immediately to inspire some positive movement in any of the areas you desire change. It does not have to be a huge action, just SOMETHING to start building momentum in your life.

Make a commitment to take your action step by writing it down and telling someone close to you so that you are accountable. You need to push yourself to take the action no matter what!  This may seem incredibly difficult or even scary, but remember that most often the things you fear never materialize. In fact, you may not even have a clear reason for feeling scared…you’re just afraid of the “unknown”.  Give yourself a pep talk or a little bribe in order to move forward at least a little bit.

Once you take that first step, let go of any expectations of the things that may happen because of it. Allow yourself to feel great simply because you did something about it. Once you have taken a step forward, keep pushing yourself to take others. Even small steps are a positive effort that result in change and cannot help but bring about better circumstances in your life.

Taking action quickly builds momentum.  Just as chronic non-action creates a cycle of negativity and stagnation over time, being proactive can create a positive cycle that continues to grow! The more you do it, the easier it gets which eventually makes it seem almost effortless. You will continue to empower and strengthen yourself with every new action you take, and soon your life will look and feel totally different.

In addition to feeling empowered, there is much to be gained from enjoying the journey to your destination. Make it your mission to revel in every moment that you are working toward higher goals. Enjoy the sense of self-discovery and accomplishment you gain with every new goal you achieve. Make it a worthwhile journey and you will savor the end result that much more!

 

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