We hear a lot about change throughout our lives; we experience a lot of change, too. We all agree that change is inevitable, though most of us believe it certainly isn’t desirable. Often change comes sweeping into our lives, dramatically altering the landscape we have worked so hard to establish. During those moments, especially, it is hard to view change as something meant for our betterment. You may even have found yourself feeling this way during and after your divorce.
But the truth is that change is a good thing, and in order to have a successful life, we have to be accepting of the changes that take place. Adaptation may seem like a survival strategy, but by adapting, we are also growing. By accepting and adapting to change, we are ultimately making a choice in the direction of positive personal development.
It usually takes time and perspective to see the benefits of change. In addition to our divorce, most of us can easily look back on our lives and recognize times of change that at first seemed destructive rather than productive. Looking back also provides the necessary view of seeing how everything has actually turned out okay – that the difficult changes that took place did in fact bring about personal growth, opened new doors of opportunity and offered unexpected shifts in seeing ourselves differently.
So the next time change brews up in your life…and it will… try shifting your perspective, approach it differently, and remember the following…
1. View the change as an opportunity for personal growth. See and accept change as a way of personally developing into more than you thought you could be. Find that inner strength you never knew you had! Bettering your life can only happen by first removing what is holding it back. The ‘old set’ has to be torn down first before a new, more vibrant one can be built. This is the only way circumstances will improve.
2. Recognize that change is hard to swallow in just one gulp. Give yourself the time you need to accept change on your own internal timetable. We each have our own internal clock that is different
than anybody else’s. We transition through many stages of change that can range from denial on the one hand to commitment on the other. This process takes a different amount of time for each person. Surrender to the process and accept however long it will take to work your way through these stages of change. If others can get through change quickly, good for them. Go only at the pace that’s right for you!
3. Conserve your energy. People spend so much energy fighting and resisting change rather than using their energy in more productive ways of acceptance and letting go. We can choose to channel our energy in more positive ways that can make us feel empowered to deal with change rather than seeing ourselves as mere victims to change. When we direct our energy
toward more positive ways of dealing with change, we invariably create better outcomes in our life.
4. Accept change. Don’t just give the change in your life a handshake… embrace it! Welcome the chance to emerge from your difficult situation with much more strength than you possibly imagined you possessed. Strength brings confidence, and confidence is the necessary precursor to success.
No matter where you may be in your life after divorce, you can be a “Savvy Divorced Chick!” You just have to start by making the decision that you want to be better, not bitter! Being savvy in your life after divorce is all about your mindset…your lifestyle… your journey.
Savvy Divorced Chicks are smart, motivated, real women who recognize that divorce has given them the opportunity to redesign a life on their terms that is empowering and fulfilling. Though her future may seem uncertain at times, she has a positive outlook and is willing to look outside of the box…even when it terrifies her! The Savvy Divorced Chick is inspired by other women’s stories, and is also an inspiration herself. She is social and enjoys being part of a positive, supportive community.
A Savvy Divorced Chick values personal development, and realizes it is the first step to making positive, lasting changes in all areas of her life. She is committed to creating a fun, adventurous, passionate life that is physically & emotionally healthy, financially secure, and professionally fulfilling. She is also committed to transforming & developing healthy, vibrant relationships in all areas of her life.
Life after divorce is truly a journey…and there are definitely challenges along the way. The Savvy Divorced Chick learns along the way how to grow from the pain, though, and realizes that only she has the power to actually create the family, the career, the relationships…the LIFE she wants!
In life after divorce, there are many decisions to make and things we would like to change to have the life of our dreams. Taking action, though, can often be intimidating and overwhelming, but it can also be empowering! Taking action can provide the fuel you need to keep moving forward toward a more fulfilling life. Regardless of the time of year, there is no time more perfect than now to design the life you want…and deserve.
As you redesign your life, it is critical that you first understand that your life is exactly as you have designed it. Your life is the way it is right now because of your hesitation in taking action to change it!
In thinking about your life, which situations do you want to change first? Does your career, health, relationships, financial situation, or anything else make you feel powerless and stuck? Choose one simple action you can take immediately to inspire some positive movement in any of the areas you desire change. It does not have to be a huge action, just SOMETHING to start building momentum in your life.
Make a commitment to take your action step by writing it down and telling someone close to you so that you are accountable. You need to push yourself to take the action no matter what! This may seem incredibly difficult or even scary, but remember that most often the things you fear never materialize. In fact, you may not even have a clear reason for feeling scared…you’re just afraid of the “unknown”. Give yourself a pep talk or a little bribe in order to move forward at least a little bit.
Once you take that first step, let go of any expectations of the things that may happen because of it. Allow yourself to feel great simply because you did something about it. Once you have taken a step forward, keep pushing yourself to take others. Even small steps are a positive effort that result in change and cannot help but bring about better circumstances in your life.
Taking action quickly builds momentum. Just as chronic non-action creates a cycle of negativity and stagnation over time, being proactive can create a positive cycle that continues to grow! The more you do it, the easier it gets which eventually makes it seem almost effortless. You will continue to empower and strengthen yourself with every new action you take, and soon your life will look and feel totally different.
In addition to feeling empowered, there is much to be gained from enjoying the journey to your destination. Make it your mission to revel in every moment that you are working toward higher goals. Enjoy the sense of self-discovery and accomplishment you gain with every new goal you achieve. Make it a worthwhile journey and you will savor the end result that much more!